Iron and Spice

On Easy Lunches.

2011-03-09T12:37:00.001-05:00

Weekday lunchtime is no time to be gourmet. My 6am daily gym session combined with my not-a-morning-person nature means that packing lunches for work tends to be an afterthought, which means that I'm either forgetting to bring anything and paying out the butt for a meal out somewhere, or I'm eating leftovers. Of course, I don't eat bread, so the ever-popular sandwich is out of the question, and you're not about to catch me heating up a Lean Cuisine at the last minute. Blech.

I stumbled on this recipe for mayo-less egg salad on some blog or another. If I find it, I'll link it. I feel like you can make this as complicated or as simple as you want. I'll take simple, thanks.

Ingredients:

As many hardboiled eggs as you want

1/2 - 1 ripe avocado, depending on how many eggs you picked

About 1/2 cup onion *I overdid the onion today, whoops*, chopped very finely

Salt/pepper to taste

The best part about this recipe is that you can throw it in your bag in pieces and deal with it at work. Once the onion is chopped all you have to do is throw everything into a bowl and smush it with a fork. Delicious and easy.


Your coworkers will love the scent! Bwah hah hah.

A few things are happening here of note.

1. It's Lent. I gave up Facebook. And bacon. I don't wanna talk about it. ::weeps::

2. Meaning I'll be on here more, I hope, with workout logs, recipes, and things to share. My point in giving up Facebook wasn't because I think it's evil or sinful (of course, yeah, it can be) but because it's a time-waster that has been creeping around, preventing me from doing stuff I SHOULD be doing more. Like blogging! And cooking! And taking pictures of stinky food at work!

Speaking of bacon, I want to make a road trip to Montreal for the SOLE PURPOSE of eating at this restaurant next year. It's a "sugar shack" in the woods of Canada called Pied au Cochon, and their tasting menu just made my head explode.

A Success Story.

2011-01-17T08:22:00.002-05:00

Hi, Mom! Be proud of yourself. I love you.

My mom at my little sister's high school graduation - June 2006.

At my wedding - October 2010. She started following a loose Paleo diet (without being neurotic) in 2009.

Wisdom.

2011-01-17T08:08:00.000-05:00

This post by Jezwyn at Girl Gone Primal is so thought provoking, I had to repost it. I'm currently thinking over how my body and my mind are reacting to being a little more controlled about my eating, and I'm feeling so much better about sustaining this for the long term than I did last year. More on that soon. Til then, if you're struggling with your paleo challenge or your new year's resolutions, head over to Girl Gone Primal for a fresh perspective.

The Perfect Kitchen

2011-01-13T10:26:00.008-05:00

....Will never be. Because, let's face it, most of us are poor college students, or poor newlyweds, or poor 30somethings. Or maybe you bought a really cute set of plates from Target and somehow managed to break every bowl that went with the set over the last year (seriously, how did I do that?). Or you might have inherited this really great house to live in, and you're wondering WHY ARE THE ONLY ELECTRICAL OUTLETS IN THE KITCHEN ON THE SAME WALL WITH APPROXIMATELY ONE FOOT OF COUNTER SPACE IN FRONT OF THEM.

Pant.Pant.Pant. Serenity now.
Thank God one of us in that house is relatively sane.

I have lived in the following places over the last holycrap eight years: a college dorm with a mini fridge (beer!), a sorority house with a full kitchen (brownies!), Italy (pasta! And hey, nice to meet you, what's your name? NUTELLA? YOU ARE DELICIOUS), a college apartment (kegs for furniture!), my first Philadelphia apartment (tofu! seitan!), my second apartment (flooded kitchen drain!), third apartment (life collapse!), fourth apartment (scarily intelligent mouse friend!), and finally...drumrolll...THE HOUSE.

For the record, I think I just wrote the chapter titles for my memoirs, at least up til now. I want to write a lot more about the house - a lot more in general. It's surprisingly hard, as most of my blogger friends will know, to write when things are going pretty well. The words come quickly during adversity when you're a writer, and I've seen a lot of bad shit happen to people around me over the last few months. Which means I sometimes feel bad about saying wow, the two year shit storm that began in September of 2008 for me actually peaced outta town last year, I spent some months cleaning up the rubble and reconstructing my life, and I Am Very Happy right now. This is a beautiful thing.

SO. Not too much adversity here, but a lot of humor and a quirky house that needs a lot of work in a crazy neighborhood.. As always, trying to live the way my body wants when you're smack in the middle of the most modern and oppressive of human creations - the city. Bright lights, noise all night. Cubicle dweller by day in a slightly prison yard style office in the Most Dangerous City In The World (hi, Mom!). Car commuter (blech!). Crossfitter. Paleoish eater. New, big fan of cooking. These are my stories and the rest, as they say, is history.

.....

OH RIGHT. This is supposed to be a post about the perfect kitchen. Funny. It was going to be short. I'm blessed now to have some kitchen space. It's not terribly beautiful or well designed, but dammit I have ROOM (except for the above mentioned outlet idiocy). As I've moved from shoebox to shoebox over the last few years, I've had to keep my utensils and cooking gadgets to a minimum. Now that we have Space, I can have fun things like a paella pan and multiple pots! Just...multiple pots of the same size for no reason! I love this, and anyone who's ever lived in a studio apartment will appreciate why it's singularly awesome to have more than one of something just because. But this isn't an ode to the crap I own, it's supposed to be helpful, so here we go. A list of the things I am currently using most in the kitchen right now. I've starred next to the things that I think are essential no matter how big or small your kitchen may be.

A big-ass crockpot. Preferably with a meat thermometer.

Gigantic frying pan with a lid (13 inches or more). I only have nonstick, but plan to upgrade to cast iron soon. This is for all those awesome things like sauteed vegetables and bacon.

Teeny frying pan (eggs for one?)

A big ass saucepan with a lid (I stole/borrowed mine from my Grammy. Just kidding, she was downsizing and getting rid of it)

Spatulas that can withstand heat and won't melt.

Wooden spoons. Dear God, I love wooden spoons.

A Really Cute Apron. Because splattering sauce on your hot little office outfit? That shit is not cute.

A 9x13 casserole dish and a 9x13 or larger roasting pan.

All together now, a GARBAGE DISPOSAL. I am currently in a love affair with mine. I haven't had one for YEARS, ours was broken when we moved in, and now it is fixed. All is right with the world.

A dishwasher. Oh wait. That's still on my wish list.

French Press coffee maker. Giant. And a bean grinder. Yes, I will totally advocate getting the grinder. It makes a huge difference in coffee yumminess. Although, full disclosure, we still have a regular Mr. Coffee because, let's face it, sometimes I don't have the energy to be that cool.

Knife block. Any decently priced one from Target will do just fine, although you might want to supplement with super duper expensive ones one at a time as you get room for Stuff. I am currently craving Rachel and Dan's knives, and since one of them costs approximately $12,000, I'll be saving up. Consensus is that if you have to buy one, an 8 inch chef's knife is it!

A few mixing bowls. Plastic is okay....metal is just as cheap (IKEA) and looks really cool in your cabinets.

A meat thermometer. Because I hate guesswork, and I hate salmonella more.

Tupperware. So much tupperware. As I've become more into cooking for 1 or 2, I've become aware of the beauty of big batch cooking. This, in my opinion, is key to being a successful healthy eater - cooking in a way that doesn't sacrifice your entire night, every day of the week. My upgrade would definitely be Pyrex containers to avoid nasty microwaving-in-tupperware-plastic-in-your-food.

A vacuum wine stopper. Because finishing the entire bottle of wine* while you're cooking on the stove can result in unpredictable outcomes. And a good wine stopper makes that wine last forever. Or three days. You know. *Please note that I don't think wine glasses are necessary.

My water carbonater-er courtesy of Rachel and Dan. This is, without a doubt, the Crazy Wedding Gift Kitchen Gadget that I NEVER EVER would have bought for myself, but now that I have it, I am obsessed with it. OBSESSED. Sparkling water for free! Anytime I want! And it makes a funny noise, and humor in the kitchen is always a good thing.

So this is my essentials list - and the rest is just gravy. What's in YOUR kitchen, and what crucial things have I forgotten?

Some suggestions for spicing up your cooking, courtesy of Shakira.

it's beginning to look a lot like...

2010-12-05T21:12:00.000-05:00

our first holiday season as a married couple has been blissful so far. besides the usual insanity of work, getting settled in the house, and planning for our wedding celebration extravaganza, we've made sure to take a moment to appreciate the little things like decorating our tree and figuring out what crafty thing we're making for everyone this year. and experiencing the joy of a new baby, of course - congratulations, Rachel and Dan, and welcome to baby Ethan!

thanksgiving was a chaotic whirl of family, delicious food and wine, and brand new recipes. the pecan bites were a hit, the pastured turkey was worth every penny, and we ate ourselves senseless.

life, my friends, is good.

Very politically correct celebration. Our Pilgrim and Native American are Puerto Rican and proud.

Antique flea market jewelry makes beautiful, one-of-a-kind Christmas ornaments.

Because my tree wouldn't be complete without a bejeweled peacock.

Oh HEY remember me?

2010-11-09T21:13:00.000-05:00

So, so much to write. There's been some kitchen magic of late, now that I'm actually semi-settled and all of my possessions are under one roof for the first time since college. Much to be caught up on (upon?).

After three weeks of unapologetic wedding bliss and food indulgence, I'm tightening the belt (literally) for the next couple of weeks. Lighter food options, ditching the sugar and grains, and generally keeping things on the straight and narrow. Case in point, white potatoes. Totally bland unless they're loaded with spices or cheese and butter, eating them always makes me feel totally heavy and stuffed. Plus, scientifically speaking, they're not all that great for ya.

"While it’s common knowledge that carbs from refined sources like sugar-filled processed foods and sodas are a poor source of both nutrition and energy, the common “complex carb” substitutes – whole-grains, rice, white potatoes and beans – also have plenty of issues. These issues range from anti-nutrient content, phytates, lectins, and glycoalkaloids – all of which block effective digestion, absorption and nutrient utilization. Beyond that, these Neolithic foods have suboptimal nutrient content when compared to carb-dense vegetable sources."

Source: My homie CaveGirl over at Steve's Original

Tonight's light, nutrient rich awesomeness is a delicious substitute for boring old mashed potatoes. We'll call it...

BACON MASHED CAULIFLOWER

or, Meghan needs to get back into the pun-ny food name flow

Ingredients:
1 head of cauliflower
raw, pastured butter*
2-3 slices bacon, crispy
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:
Cut cauliflower into manageable pieces and steam til very well done.
Put steamed cauliflower, butter to taste, bacon, salt & pepper in food processor. Process until smooth.

This took about 20 minutes from start to finish, including steaming time.
*I imagine this would be good with all sorts of fats. Bacon fat? EVOO and fresh rosemary instead of bacon? Coconut oil and curry powder for an Indian theme? Yummmm.

I'm embarrassed to say that I ate all of this too quickly to take any pictures.

But HERE'S a picture everyone will love. HEY HUSBAND!!

Life as we know it.

2010-09-05T09:52:00.000-04:00

I've never been this excited for fall. A sweltering, oppressively hot summer (with no AC in the car) coupled with some Very Exciting Life Events coming up are making me pretty giddy with anticipation for cool weather, sunshine, changing leaves, oh yes PUMPKIN ALE, orchards, many roasted root vegetables and soup, and everything else awesome that goes with fall.

Things are changing and the weather this weekend is a pretty appropriate backdrop. My mom sold the house we lived in for 10+ years in one day and bought a smaller condo in the next town over. Angel and I are moving into our new-to-us fixer upper house (oh snap, yes I'll be blogging about it!) in Kensington/NoLibs. With moving comes oh so much purging of crap, which I firmly believe is good for the soul. And no, my shoes do not necessarily count when we discuss necessary purging, ahem. Lots of boxes opened, pictures looked at, reading embarrassing stories that I wrote when I was 10 and realizing that my mom saved pretty much everything I did in school in my elementary years. Seeing my face reflected in old pictures of my dad in high school and college and the bittersweet realization of what it means for my mom to leave the home they shared and forge out in a new place. I miss him. A lot, lately. Talk of wedding celebrations, of walking down the aisle, of first dances will do that. September will always be a poignant month for me, I think, and I'm glad that this year we have the excitement of a wedding to help ease the sting.

Speaking of excitement, my mom's new condo is a hop skip and a jump away from the Palmyra Real Food Emporium, whose mission begins with this. "Our food supply is extremely vulnerable due to a number of factors. Poor farming practices and food processing have been draining food of its natural nutritional value. We bring you food direct from local farms. Shopping with us, you choose to enjoy fresh, health-sustaining food."

How refreshing.

2010-08-18T14:26:00.000-04:00

Salmonella Outbreak Prompts Recall of 228M Eggs

An outbreak of salmonella illnesses linked to shell eggs has prompted a nationwide recall of 13 brands of eggs produced by an Iowa company and triggered a multi-state investigation that is expected to grow.
The Associated Press estimated the total recalled at 228 million eggs, although the company in question, Wright County Egg of Galt, Iowa, wouldn't confirm it.
So far, clusters of illnesses linked to eggs have been confirmed in at least three states, California, Colorado and Minnesota, federal health officials said Tuesday. In California, tainted eggs have sickened at least 266 people, Los Angeles County health officer Dr. Jonathan Fielding told reporters Tuesday.
The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is looking into a four-fold spike in reported cases of salmonella enteritidis with a particular genetic fingerprint in late June and early July, said Lola Russell, a CDC spokeswoman. In addition, many states have reported increases in the specific pattern since May. That could indicate hundreds of illnesses tied to the outbreak, Russell said.
On Friday, officials with Wright County Egg, issued a national recall for 13 brands of eggs with particular date stamps because they had the potential to be contaminated with salmonella. The eggs were packed between May 16 and August 13.
The recalled eggs are packaged under the following brand names: Lucerne, Albertson, Mountain Dairy, Ralph's, Boomsma's, Sunshine, Hillandale, Trafficanda, Farm Fresh, Shoreland, Lund, Dutch Farms and Kemps. The eggs are packed in cartons of various sizes, including 6-egg cartons, dozen-egg cartons and 18-egg cartons.
They feature Julian dates ranging from 136 to 225 and plant numbers 1026, 1413 and 1946. Dates and codes can be found stamped on the end of the egg carton. The plant number begins with the letter P and then the number. The date follows the plant number. For example: P-1946 223.
The federal Food and Drug Administration has launched an investigation at the Iowa firm.
Salmonella Enteritidis can cause fever, abdominal cramps and diarrhea that begins with 12 to 72 hours of eating contaminated food and lasts four to seven days. It can cause serious illness in people with compromised immune systems.
Consumers shouldn't eat the eggs and they should return them to the store where they were purchased.
This recall is of shell eggs only. Other egg products produced by Wright County Eggs are not affected. Consumers with questions should visit: http://www.eggsafety.org or contact the Egg Safety Media Hotline 404-367-2761.

(From msnbc.com)

I'm so furious right now I can't even articulate properly. This is terrifying. What are we doing to ourselves? Centralizing our food supply to the point where we have a single supplier shipping out TWO HUNDRED TWENTY EIGHT MILLION EGGS all over the country? I shudder to think at the conditions that these chickens must live in. This isn't natural. This isn't healthy. And it certainly isn't safe.

Please, know your food. Know who made it, how it grew, and where it comes from. PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS HOW THINGS SHOULD BE.

Crazy

2010-08-17T10:13:00.000-04:00

Life is nuts lately and sometimes the prospect of writing a really long post is overwhelming. So for awhile I'm just going to do random thoughts. You know you love it.

I strongly believe that every kid should go to a farm and pick vegetables and fruit and see where their meat comes from, too. In the craziness that is my life and especially diet these days, the repetitive work and childlike surprise of finding a gorgeous ripe berry under all the leaves is extremely cathartic. At the root at all of the questions, the answer is sometimes right there in the dirt. Plants eat sun and we eat plants. Hunt, gather. Circle of life. Remind me that, someday, I want a small farm.

Happy Fourth.

2010-07-04T12:53:00.000-04:00

Lots to reflect on today - it's a fun, relaxing day but also one that begs a quiet moment to reflect on those who gave their lives for our freedom. Not only the ones who made the Ultimate Sacrifice but those who sacrifice in small ways every day, who are away from wives, husbands and children for months in foreign lands. Thank you, because there are really no other appropriate words. I like what Erin posted on the CFCC website today:

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. ~Erma Bombeck

Thanks, E.

I found this amazing blog via a few twists and turns, and I want to share it. Lucinda lost her infant son two years ago to a heart defect, and she wrote about it along the way. Here is the comment I posted on her site, after I spent about two hours reading and feeling and hurting for her.

I just read back through your entire journey of grief and healing (so far, I think it's a never ending process). I lost my father in September of 2008 very unexpectedly due to a heart defect. He was only 54. He and my mother had a special thing with hummingbirds and she collects them now, much as you do for Cooper. Funny how I see parallels between you and me. I had envisioned a tattoo for myself very similar to what you got (a hummingbird silhouette combined with my dad's signature). I suppose our experiences are so different and yet inherently the same. I lost a father, you lost a son, and yet i see the same ups and downs of pain, anger, denial, shock, and amazing signs that he is looking down on you - all lit by brief moments of joy and even laughter. It's a rough road to travel and I wish you all the peace and love in the world.

It is a never ending process and it rears its head on interesting days. Why today am I wistful and nostalgic? Maybe because I can remember past 4th of July barbecues and grilled shrimp, angel food cake (we fought over who got the icing that gooped in the center, yum), and cigars and beer after sunset. It's a day of celebration and remembrance of all who have left us. I'll have a beer for you tonight, Dad.

On Matrimony.

2010-06-21T11:29:00.000-04:00

When did it all become Such. A. Big. Deal?

When did it become about invitation lists, and letterpress vs. engraving, and the napkins matching the bridesmaids' sashes matching the centerpieces? When did it become thousands of dollars on food that would be eaten (GONE), flowers that would die (GONE) and dresses worn once and GONE? Deadlines and deposits and counts and assignments and RSVPs and GAH.

Not that there's anything wrong with any of this, if you're so inclined. There are a couple of weddings in the chute for me in the next couple of years (one of them being my own), and I love attending weddings. I love seeing how other people throw awesome parties and I love the creative way that they pull it off (especially my girlfriends, who are amazing at throwing parties). I have about twenty wedding style blogs on my Google reader right now and I check them every day.

For a hot second, I thought that I could be all about it. But the more I thought and my head whirled, the more I realized that I was actually stressing and crying, yes crying, over a party. That's all it is, folks, a party, when all is said and done. And for me, it's not what's important. Everyone says that the wedding day is "MY DAY" and I get whatever I want. I guess this is license for some people to become a huge unreasonable bitch, but those of you who know me know that is so not my way. But, in the spirit of it being MY DAY, this is what I want. Consider it my Bridezilla list:

I want to exchange vows in front of God and my family and promise that I will love my husband until Death do us part. I want what my parents had and still have, years and years of wonderful together, God willing.
I want my ceremony to be very small and intimate. I want the love of our families to propel us forward into the next stage of our lives.
I want to have this day be relaxing and calm in its sacredness. I don't want to deal with getting two hundred people from point A to point B, getting a million pictures taken, making sure the caterer and the flowers and the cake and the DJ are present and doing the right thing. Some people are experts at this. I am not and it would drive me bananas.
I really don't want to coordinate all of this in a crazy gown that is too tight to breathe and eat, haha.
I want to have a fun summer that isn't taken up with appointments, fittings, meetings, everything. I want to go to the beach and the pool and Phillies games and hiking and Crossfit to my heart's content.
I want to begin our lives together in a solid state of marital, spiritual, and financial bliss. I don't, for one solitary second, want to look at anything having to do with my wedding and go "gulp, I hope we can afford this!"
I want to celebrate my happiness with ALL of my friends, without coming up with an arbitrary cutoff point. I have a solid group of friends from college, some still sticking around from high school and childhood, and some that I've just met within the past couple of months that I couldn't imagine this day without. I want them all there.
I want to serve my own food. Bacon wrapped dates? Yes please. Empanadillas and maduros? Absolutely. I want to have that shit and EAT IT TOO. Cake? Maybe...definitely not a wedding cake though.
I want to dance and drink and party hard in celebration of my happiness.
I want the love of my family AND FRIENDS, old and new, to warm our new home and our holiday season.

Looking at this list, it seems like my "wants" are completely at odds. How can we pull this off? Stay tuned....until next time, I'm getting SO excited to marry you, Angel.

The Bridge.

2010-06-16T06:55:00.000-04:00

I'm in a pencil skirt and heels, lying on the carpet, staring at the ceiling. The lights are low. The room smells like burning sage, which, to my surprise, is invigorating and calming at the same time. I was just told to close my eyes, and now Vince is walking among us, slowly hitting a little Native American drum.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

I've already given myself over to this exercise - in the spirit of listening to those wiser than myself lately when it comes to all things physical, why not absorb the wisdom of someone who is clearly very spiritual? I walked in to this nondescript building in the heart of downtown Camden (teetered would be a better word) into this big, comfortable open space and saw a blanket laid out in front of me covered with stones, some flutes, a drum, some feathers and a bowl filled with something quite suspicious looking that was smoking away. Uh, okay. What the hell am I doing here? Renee, the executive director, kept telling me that I should be "so excited because I'm in for a very special treat."

I'm supposed to be visualizing a cave inside a tree.

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

I don't think I've ever ACTUALLY done guided meditation. Breathe. OK, at the very least it's relaxing. But my mind won't quiet. We're in a field surrounded by a forest, and an animal makes its way out of the forest. What kind of animal is it? What does it look like? What does it say? My brain leaps rapidly from image to image. Nothing is definitive. I see my dad's face, and he's laughing. I'm pissed at myself for not finding my spirit animal in twenty minutes of meditation. Are my eyes burning? Then we're out of the field, out of the cave, out of the tree, and sitting up.

The teenagers around me are describing tigers with blue stripes, owls, wolves and snakes. They are drawing and scribbling eagerly. Is this real, my first foray into the actual city of Camden? What kind of bratty kids did I grow up with that I expected this group to be cynical and sarcastic? Vince talked about burning sage to cleanse our spiritual aura, which is what surrounds us and makes others like or dislike us, trust or distrust us. These kids know instinct. They didn't roll their eyes when I brushed it all off as hippie bullshit.

But then he said it and I understood, when one girl asked "so plants can heal you? What are those rocks for then?" and he answered:

ANYTHING CAN HEAL YOU.

Anything you choose. If it makes you feel better, if it makes you feel whole, if it makes you feel like a human again, it is a healer. Perhaps it comes in the form of a person but more likely that person is merely a channel, funneling your own misdirected energy right back to you. As it seems lately in my life, all roads lead back to the heavy weights and how they saved my sanity last summer. How the Crossfit box gives off such an aura of love and acceptance and encouragement that you cannot, I repeat CANNOT walk in there without leaving and feeling different. A lift, even when it's failed, gives you something on which to focus your mind when your spirit is broken. A conditioning workout takes you right back to where it really matters - your breath, in, out, in, out. If you feel like you can't go on, just breathe deep for 3, 2,1 and get back under the bar.

Crossfit is meditation for the body, and I do it every day. My physical self is stronger for it. And last night, in this room in downtown Camden where some high school kids got to be quiet with their thoughts for 30 minutes because they never get the luxury of quiet at home, I think I found my spirit.

Learning

2010-06-14T10:05:00.000-04:00

In the spirit of Mel's non-challenge-challenge, which reminded me that the Internet is good for more than just Facebook status updates, I have been trying to feed my brain more when online the last couple of days. "Feeding my brain" usually constitutes a poem or amazing article that caters to the English major still hiding in me.

Here's what I found today, via The Writer's Almanac, in which Garrison Keillor reads a classic poem every day. Apparently there's a Penguin book compiled by him called "Good Poems" which NEEDS to be on my already overstuffed bookshelf. I remember reading this in AP English with Mrs. Knutsen in high school, and it still never fails to give me the chills. What an awesome line, "The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity." Still rings true today.

The Second Coming

by William Butler Yeats

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

2010-06-13T10:07:00.000-04:00

It's shaping up to be a quiet, kind of get-things-done sort of day, which means in an ideal world I will 1)go to church, 2)clean, 3) do laundry, 4) cook for the week, 5) get my nails done, 6) do some sprint and pushup work, and culminate the whole thing by eating a wonderful meal of turkey and broccoli tonight and get to bed by 10. But let's be honest. The most productive thing I did yesterday was pick strawberries at the orchard, attend a 7 year old's birthday party, and paint my toenails. I think I've put my X in the box for the weekend.

State of Confusion

2010-06-12T12:00:00.000-04:00

Apologies in advance, this is not very coherent. More for me than anyone else.

I'm lazy. There, I said it and now it's in the ether and you all know it. In one of my new favorite books, The Sex Lives of Cannibals (which anyone who has ever traveled should read, it's hilarious), the author says this, which made me stop and Mark The Page Because It Was ME:

It is an unfortunate reality for innate idlers that our modern world requires one to hold a job to maintain a sustainable existence. Idling, I find, is immensely underrated, even vilifed by some who see inactivity as the gateway for the Evil One. Personally, I regard idling as a virtue, but civilized society holds otherwise and the fact remains that I still had to get a a job.

I mean, I would be happy for a good week or two to rest my laurels under some sort of palm tree with some sort of coconut in my hand doing nothing whatsoever. And then I would get bored. I like doing stuff, I hate HAVING to do stuff. I know that none of this makes sense yet, but I promise I'm getting somewhere with this.

When I started learning more about Paleo/Primal eating, the best thing about it was that I could basically eat whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I wanted without ever having to measure anything. I HATE measuring, and I'll say it again with capital letters. I HATE measuring and I hate thinking ahead because all this requires effort, honestly. And that's no good, not anymore, because as I proceed in my Crossfit life from "wow, I love this so much more than a treadmill, but I'm so intimidated by these amazing people and someday I'd like to get one, ONE pullup" to "okay, I have one or two pullups, I can deadlift pretty heavy and maybe, just maybe I could compete next year" I realize that I have to put some effort into my eating just as I have to do in my training.

My nutrition, just like my training, has to be deliberate. I can't just skate through my week hoping I'll get a session in here and there around work meetings and me being tired, I have to put it in my calendar in Sharpie. I can't leave the house in the morning not knowing what I'm eating for dinner that night. Because for my innately lazy self, when I don't have a Plan, everything goes to shit. It really does. And then one day of no Crossfit becomes two, becomes three, becomes a week, and crappy eating follows.

Let me pause for a moment to give major credit to the very wise and patient Erin Davidson, my coach, who spent several hours yesterday talking me through this and who I'm sure will talk me off the ledge several times as I adjust to this new lifestyle. I don't like things to be hard--even in Crossfit workouts, which are deathly hard, my brain always tries to convince me to make it easier. For some reason, then, I can shut it down. But not with food. With food, it's everything my mind wants, all the time, or my mind becomes a pouty little two year old. I think Melicious talked about this awhile back. It's childish and it's stupid and it's not the way an athlete should think. My admittedly higher fat Primal-with-cheats diet is fine for staying right here where I am, but it's not going to help me get better as an athlete, not the way I'm doing it.

So,in order to achieve these goals that I set for myself by the end of the year...

Unassisted pullups IN A WORKOUT (this means in quantity)
20 unassisted pushups in a row
Unassisted ring dips
120# ground/overhead anyhow
95# strict press
240# deadlift/use of 185# DL in quantity
box jumps/vertical leap power
900m+ tabata row
1:25 400 m sprint
rehabbing my adductor safely so I can squat again.
much soft tissue/flexibility work
"Helen" RX'ed (even if it takes forever)

...here's what I must do.

1. Train consistently and train hard and lift heavy.
2. Rest often, focus on soft tissue work and stretching, mobility, and flexibility.
3. Ice this adductor til it obeys me, and make sure to ice anything that's bothering me.
4. Sleep more.
5. Stop eating after 8pm.
6. Fish oil, Vitamin D, Zinc/Magnesium
7. Take in 25g PRO/25gCHO before working out and 25gPRO directly after workout.
8. Stop thinking of it as a workout and start thinking of it as TRAINING.
9. Don't be afraid to get uncomfortable in a session. I've sworn off the blue band for pullups. We've had a good run, and it's going to suck for awhile without it. But we're so over.
10. 115ish g PRO per day, similar amount of carbs, 60ish g FAT. Really going to try to do this without grains. I think I can. I like how I feel without them in my life. Vegetables, sweet potatos/beets etc and not too much fruit. This is where the control element comes in, and I'll need to ignore my inner two year old a little bit.
11. So much sunshine and outside time in my life. I need it.

I think that's it. I realize this is not really a "good" blog post in the sense that it means much to anyone but me. But I figure that for me, the more people who know what I'm doing and my goals the better, because they can all hold me accountable. And remind me that laziness is not going to get me far.

As an aside, www.ironandspice.com is now MINE! Which means actual products are not far behind! T-shirts, prints, etc. I'm really excited.

Real Food Wins.

2010-05-25T21:34:00.000-04:00

Admittedly, it's been a few weeks of non-optimal eating. The two week high protein diet, subtitled "Eat a Crapton of Chicken Every Day and also Broccoli," kind of numbed my desire to cook. Not sure why exactly, it's a whole psychological thing that I need to explore. But after doing it, I'll admit that it was useful in that it showed me exactly what it means to eat a CRAP TON of protein. And now I know. More protein coming right up!

My new job has made things a little tougher too. Working in Center City let me skimp out on meal prep in a big way, because I always had a place to run to if I hadn't had time to pack anything to eat. Hell, I could even go home at lunch and put something together. Now that I'm in Camden I've had to completely reconfigure my whole plan - working out at lunch (sometimes) and eating at my desk, which I hate. Everything is confused and I'm working on settling things out and getting back to my supercharged clean eating self. But more on that later because this blog has been suffering from a serious lack of good food porn lately. Commence to...

Epic Fish

Perch or any kind of flaky white fish (enough for two, and wild caught of course)
1/2 vidalia onion, sliced, and red/green/yellow pepper strips

Marinade:
Olive oil (about 1/2 cup, enough to marinate the fish)
Cilantro, chopped (about 1/3 cup, depending on how much you like it)
Chipotle powder, and chili powder to taste
Jalapeno pepper, chopped (we used 1/2 a pepper and removed the seeds, you can always use more if you love the spice)
Juice of 1/2 orange (save the pulp)

Sautee onion and peppers in a little olive oil until slightly caramelized and set aside. Blend oil, cilantro, spices, and juice. Marinate fish in this overnight if possible. If you can't, just dredge the fish in the sauce and pour whatever's left over into the pan over the filets. Sautee fish until cooked through (it goes quick, about 5-6 minutes). Plate fish, pour extra sauce on the plate and add the cooked onions and peppers. A few chunks of orange pulp add sweetness. We put 2 or 3 tbsp of Wholly Guacamole on the side and served it with KALE CHIPS YUMMMM.

2010-05-23T14:42:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to Crossfit Tribe for an amazing 4TH PLACE overall finish in the Northeast Regionals.

LA better watch out babayyyy!

On Mental Fortitude.

2010-05-23T00:13:00.000-04:00

After a too-long hiatus from the Blog, I'm about to sit and write the Biggest Cliche of All -- how amazed and honored I am by being a part of the Crossfit community (after spectator-ing at my very first competition, no less). I'm also going to write about determination, because, you know, no one ever connects those two things. But it's my blog and I'll cliche if I want to (yes, Erin Kelly, I'm talking to you right now, hah).

I came into this weekend a little bit of an outsider in this group. From a different tribe, different village and all that jazz. And I've been nothing less than welcomed with open and loving arms. Especially by my new hotel roomy, chauffeur, and bitch-don't-try-and-spoon-with-me-at-night bed companion, Anna Marra. And Kristen and Steve, who kept me alive by feeding me a constant supply of PaleoCrack all weekend. And of course, my lover at the front desk of the Days Inn Albany, who was our concierge to our posh digs. Complete with pool, spa, fully equipped gym, and rooftop bar. Riiiiight yeah. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

As I reflect on the past two days, mentally prepare myself for tomorrow, and start sending fast deadlift and sled push vibes to our athletes that are competing again tomorrow I can't help but visualize myself, a year from now. Ten months if we get technical. I hope that -- no, i KNOW that I'll be repping unassisted pullups and strict pushups like it ain't no thang. We'll get to my own plan in a second (or in a near future post, which I promise doesn't mean another two months). I know that between my new Tribe in Jersey and my original crew at CFCC, combined with this being the Best Year EVER of my life, I can make this happen next year.

But for now, we'll cut to the chase. Erin Davidson, aka Mama Bear, aka the one who, along with Greg Privitera taught me everything I know about Oly lifts and Crossfit, was without a doubt the hero of the day. The one who trains at two gyms and clients' homes and lives out her car, the Tribe back office, the CFCC office, and her Center City apartment and yet somehow still has time to train herself to utter badassery. Who yells at everyone and I mean EVERYONE who overtrains but as far as I know, never sleeps. Today was her reckoning.

21-15-9 couplets: 95# overhead squats and chest to bar pullups. Now, I don't work out with Erin a lot but I do stalk her workout log, and since I've seen 95# OHS floating around there I foolishly assumed that this would be cake for her. Easy. Reps all day. As soon as we heard 3-2-1 GO we knew this was not the case. We gathered there, our ridiculous, crazy Tribe of screams and cursing and good vibes and love enveloping that entire corner of the parking lot. We watched as Erin started picture perfect overhead squats. Screamed, pushed her through that first 21 in giant sets of 7 or 8 or a million. Other girls with the exception of a select 1 or 2 firebreathers were shaking uncontrollably under the weight, dropping it hard after 3 or 4 reps. And Erin banged them out like a champ. Back arched, knees out, chest up, all these things that she has said to me hundreds of times, I repeated under my breath, silently urging her on. I yelled to her when she dropped the bar on her back "GET THE BAR UP!" She didn't need to hear it, probably couldn't hear it at all, but it was like the energy inside me needed to go somewhere. So I screamed.

Chest to bar pullups were next. I KNOW I've seen her rep these like crazy in the box, but not directly after heavy OHS. It was clear they weren't going to be easy after the first 5 or 6 reps. Pull, pull, pull, shake out the wrists. Again. Again. Again. Pick up the bar, behind your head, push it up, and squat. Fail. Squat again and again and again. Back to pullups. We're so loud at this point that the Crossfit Games videographer is filming us rather than the competitors. I can feel the veins in my neck popping from yelling so loud and as I stand up from where I'm crouched taking pictures, the blood rushes from my head and I get dizzy. But NO EFFING WAY am I going to be that girl that passed out from screaming. Not today my friend. Erin's on her last pullup of the second set and as she drops from the bar, her face is absolute agony. The bar comes up off the ground and goes overhead. I'm thinking she only has a few minutes left in the time allotment, and she's only going to be able to do sets of 1 and 2. Warren is yelling "THREE TWO ONE GO, ERIN" and there is this rush of energy from us and, I swear, injects directly into that girl's shoulders because she hits that last set STRAIGHT THROUGH. No stopping, no hesitation, no mercy. We're going crazy as she hits the pullup bar for the last time. Sets of two and one and on the last rep she bangs chest to bar and hits the ground, collapsing to catch her breath. Immediately we're all over her in a pile of hugs and congratulations. Seconds before the time is up, she's one of only three girls to even finish in the first heat. Unbelievable.

So, I'M shaking and sweating like I just did the freaking workout myself. And the whole thing just comes crashing down on me and I'm in tears. FOR REAL. Everyone always says how this workout and that made them cry and I'm right there with them (ELIZABETH?), but I've never been so moved by the ability of a group to inspire and literally lift the bar with their love and energy. It's literally the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. But more than that, I'm blown away by the fight and determination I witnessed. That less than halfway through the workout I saw someone realize their limitations, realize that no sane person would even bother trying to finish the impossible, but decide right then and there that they absolutely refuse to stop pushing until the very end and to wind up being successful because of it.

I saw it again later that day when Alyson Terranova went in for the same workout. The first round of overhead squats destroyed her and she could have hit the deck when she realized that she wouldn't finish, but she didn't. Up she went to the bar. Again and again, even as her arms went to failure. Up until the last second she was making attempts. And at the end of it all, when she was in tears with frustration, her Tribe was gathered around her, saying Alyson don't you DARE do anything but hold your head up. Because you're among the best of the best in this competition and you NEVER gave up. The same when Kto was faced with multiple snatches at her 1RM. In true Kto style, she shrugged, took off the aviators and pulled that shit for 3. And her hair looked damn good the whole time. SHAWTY. And the twins of Steve's Club who ripped their hands like crazy but managed to finish 50 chest to bar pullups each along with dozens of high pulls and cleans. So many people literally left pieces of themselves on the bar today.

So may that flow into me over the coming months. Because I know that if I'm going to be lifting and sweating next to all of these people this summer I cannot and will not give up beside them, not if I want to be next to them in competition next year. When I think I can't lift it again, I will. When I could use the easier band for workouts, I'll pick the harder band. I'll run behind Erin Kelly to get faster and row next to Greengas to eke out a few extra meters. I'll shut up and let Erin Davidson tell me what to do and what to eat. But most importantly, when I'm on round 3 of a 21-15-9 workout of any kind and my brain is all, "what in GOD'S NAME are you doing? Don't you know that normal people DO NOT DO THIS? Get back on the elliptical you lunatic, and put the kettlebell down," I will remember the shouts and screams of the people around me and allow that support to drown out the sound of my own mental anguish and doubts.

Because you can always, as it turns out, pull just one more rep.

Go Placidly.

2010-05-13T16:19:00.000-04:00

Desiderata - Max Ehrman

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,

and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

2010-05-07T16:23:00.001-04:00

Test post via the cell. Been too long...

Cameraderie.

2010-03-28T09:05:00.001-04:00

A quick note before I dash off to my session at Crossfit Center City which I affectionately call "Power Hour"...I have a lot to write about and haven't gotten the chance but needed to post this shot. Let me first note that did I watch the Olympics this year? Not a second. But I've been watching the results for Crossfit Sectionals like a hawk, and kicking myself for not being able to go to either. Next year I'll be competing.

You see this picture? This is why working out at an affiliate is expensive, if it's possible to oversimplify it to that degree. For every dollar you budget that seems wasteful or extravagant and every minute you spend defending how much you spend to "go to the gym," remember this:

It comes back to you a millionfold.

Whether you are gassed in a daily WOD, stuck in the hole of a front squat or a thruster, midpull on a deadlift and that bar is glued to the ground, or smack in the middle of the elite athletes at Sectionals, you just can't give up in front of these people. Look at them. A few years ago they didn't even know each other. A few months ago for some. They come in for their hourlong sessions and continue on about their normal, separate lives. But for ten minutes in the freezing cold when you can definitely have tunnel vision/Fran cough/can't do one more rep/feel like Death is absolutely coming for you, well....how can you quit when they are there, really??

Crossfit Tribe @ 2010 NJ/NY Sectionals.
Photo by Rosemary Mackintosh

Changing Tide.

2010-03-10T08:41:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to focus on good sleep lately so that I'm all fresh and chipper for my 6:00 AM Crossfit LoveFest. (Side note: Crossfit Lovefest would be a good name for an affiliate...) It's really, really difficult to get to bed early. I'm naturally a night owl and it sucks to get home from work at 6:30 PM, spend time to cook dinner and by the time dinner is finished I'm practically supposed to be in bed? 8-9 hours of sleep for me means going to bed at 8:30 or 9pm. Which means no evening fun. I'm working on this and trying to do better - namely, getting myself into bed at least by 10 and reading a book that's not too thrilling so I doze off by 10:30.

The last two days and nights have been GLORIOUS. Hint of spring in the air, warm enough to go jacketless during the day/hoodie at night. I'm CRAVING fresh air. Craving it. My office is a dungeon of stale recirculated machine fumes in which I never see sunlight. Fun right, and not at all depressing! Anyway, Monday night I took myself for a long evening walk (so romantic) and the air was just...delicious. Even though I live in Center City and every so often there's just a funk - urine, beer, feces, who knows - or I would end up behind the person that likes to walk for exercise as they enjoy a pack of cigarettes, I was still so happy to be out and not shivering. I love the first warm days of the year, seeing people happy and smelling stuff growing that isn't mold and piles of dirty snow. Change is good. And the way this year is shaping up, there may be some really exciting stuff happening to me soon.

This morning was a rest day in the CF hizzouse but I didn't want to sleep in too much (in the name of preserving my oh so important sleep schedule) so I did something glorious: Got up at 6:30, walked to Rittenhouse Square with coffee to people watch. Ahhhh so fun. It reminded me of what I used to do in Florence, which was basically sit around a lot on benches and look at beautiful architecture and trees. Life is good.

Scribbled on the sidewalk on Locust between 17th and 18th Streets. Relevant!

Frozen Blueberries and other addictive things.

2010-03-07T14:17:00.000-05:00

I will forever give Erin full credit for introducing me to the wonder that is frozen blueberries. I honestly can't believe that I never had them before last summer. They are so good with heavy cream, just as good (and dairy free) with full fat coconut milk, and apparently, reaaaaaally good by themselves. I buy them by the three pound bag in the freezer aisle at Giant, and fully intend to get scads of fresh, local ones this summer as soon as they are in season and start freezing those to last me through the year. So, yes, I'm eating a ridiculous amount right now. I've been eating them all winter but they give me that summery feeling, and when the weather is nice and warmish for the first time in months I'm allowing myself to indulge. Yum.

Other indulgey-but-not-bad-for-me things I've been doing lately:

KALE CHIPS. There are a couple of recipes for these floating around and I think I got the basis for it from Melicious, but I finally got around to trying them a week or so ago and holy hell are they good. The best part is that it takes about 10 minutes to prepare, 15 minutes to cook and then (and I am not kidding one iota) you can literally eat an entire head (bunch? bouquet?) of kale in one sitting and not feel one little teeny hint of guilt about it. No, they are not "Paleo potato chips," okay? But they are crispy and salty and GOOD.

Step 1: Buy kale, should be around 99 cents/pound and available at any grocery store worth its salt. Gold star if it's local and organic.
Step 2: Rinse kale. DRY thoroughly with paper towels.
Step 3: Use kitchen shears or your hands to tear off leafs from tough ribs. Discard ribs. Spread leaves out on a cookie sheet. Pat dry with a paper towel once more with feeling.
Step 4: Drizzle with olive oil. I use about 1 tbsp for each 3rd of the pan.
Step 5: Pop in 400 degree oven for 12-15 minutes depending on your desired amount of crispiness. In my oven, 14 minutes is perfect and gives me burnt edges and a nice toasty flavor. In Angel's oven, 14 minutes is too much as we discovered the other night.
Step 6: Sprinkle everything with sea salt. Add spices as desired. Chili powder is good. I've got lots more to try.
Step 7: Inhale.

A few other things we've gleefully enjoyed lately:

Stealing leftover coffee from work.

Wild caught sea scallops, pan seared in a little butter and adobo seasoning. Was pleasantly surprised to find wild caught sea scallops at Acme.

Medjool dates. I get a few of these at the store and eat them while I shop.

Coconut butter (and coconut oil and coconut milk). My appreciation for coconut products has increased a bazillion-fold lately. Coconut butter is available on Amazon for about $16/jar. Pricey but I can stretch one out for a month. It's so delicious, I think it's worth the price. Also learned at the Whole 9 Nutrition Seminar that coconut-derived products contain a special kind of fatty acids that signal your cells to release nutrients (I THINK, I need to check my notes).

And finally, pastured free range chicken eggs from Fair Food Farmstand at Reading Terminal FOR THE WIN. Delicious breakfast, every morning. Again, how was I ever a vegan?

Saturday Morning

2010-03-06T13:29:00.000-05:00

A sunny, beautiful, lazy Saturday. Old school video games and the breakfast of champions I'm currently enjoying:

2 eggs, bacon, and frozen blueberries.

My teeny shamrock plant soaking up the sun on the balcony.

On Love.

2010-03-05T22:36:00.000-05:00

Still Surreal.

Angel and I got a free dinner at Chima on 19th and JFK because the manager is one of our clients. If you've never been to Chima or similar Brazilian steakhouses, let me reiterate that it. is. worth. it. And not really in my dining budget right now so I was all over this very generous offer. We tried to go earlier in February and it snowed (lather, rinse, and repeat this story for THE ENTIRE WINTER if you're from somewhere that's not in the lovely and temperate Northeast). Then we tried to go a week or so later and instead got the stomach flu - not a good combination when there's unlimited roasted meat involved. FINALLY we picked a random Thursday (February 25th) to go. Oh, and of course it snowed AGAIN and almost made the evening a wash, but we were determined. Here's how things went down.

All week, Angel is all "Damn, I'm excited for Thursday night." And I'm like, "duh, me too. Free steak. All you can eat. Date night! What's not to be excited about?"

Then, Thursday morning I come to a realization: It's our seven month anniversary. Obviously I'm really not into the anniversary thing (oops) but how CONVENIENT that we happen to have a date night planned!

Salad bar. I tried to pace myself but couldn't resist: prosciutto, arugula salad with sundried tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and balsamic vinegar, olives, hearts of palm, roasted red peppers, and more things that I don't remember. Oh, did I mention it was UNLIMITED BITCHES?

Angel got through round 1 of the fish and was already apprehensive
about the amount of food we were getting.

I on the other hand was champagning.

Moet & Chandon Imperial Nectar, ridiculous.

Oh hey filet mignon on a skewer (one of about twelve different kinds of meat
being brought around constantly by gaucho waiters).

Despite the fact that it's sort-of-officially our anniversary at this point you could have rolled me out of that restaurant, so I'm pretty much about the sweatpants by the time this dinner is over with. Angel agrees. We cab it home in the storm (I think this one was the Snow-icane or Snow-M-G or one of those awesome titles) and commence to lazing around with intensity.

[Editor's note: The following exchange is kind of abridged because a) I blacked out a little due to shock and b) hey, some stuff has to stay private)

Him: You know, I love you so much. You are such an amazing woman and you make me so happy.
Me: Aww, I love you too.
Him: So, will you marry me?
Me: Haha, yeah of course (totally thinking he's joking)
Him: No, I'm serious.
And I turn around and he's holding a beautiful diamond ring. And because it's me, and this is how I roll, my immediate response is as follows:
Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Him: Um, hi, yes, this is a real diamond ring?
Me: [commence to freaking out. I laugh, I cry, I hyperventilate. I bounce up and down on the bed. About 5 minutes later I finally get around to asking...] Wait, did I actually say yes? YES YES YES.

There are certain times in your life that require copious amounts of champagne, especially when your fiance has gone to so much trouble to sneak it from his house into your apartment purely to celebrate your engagement.

On this, the occasion of the biggest surprise anniversary present of my life, I will leave you with this Deep Thought:

The last few years, my life has been full of upheaval, and not in a good way. From the rocky beginnings of our relationship to this, the first steps toward the rest of our lives together, this man has held me together and built me up. He has been my frame. He has seen me cry, he has seen me sick, he has seen me without makeup, he's seen me post workout. He's always excited about my lifting and Crossfit accomplishments even though I haven't gotten him to a session (YET). He has AMAZING taste in beer and food. He cooks. HE COOKS. Best sense of humor in the world. He makes me laugh every day, he makes me more creative and more open to the beautiful things in this world, he showed me how to trust again. And for that I love him and can't wait to be his wife.

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person.

You know they're right if you love to be with them all of the time.

- Julia Child

Treats!

2010-02-24T21:26:00.000-05:00

Imagine my surprise when my sweet, wonderful boyfriend left work for lunch and returned with an amazing stash of goodies from Garces Trading Co., restaurateur Jose Garces' newest endeavor on 11th and Locust. Angel and I have been eyeballing this place since we started printing stickers and stuff for them. Imported wine, cheese, charcuterie, and other delicious stuff. Excuse the poor quality of the picture (cell phone) because this was a total surprise! Yum. And if I may reiterate, if you're gonna eat cheese, make it this kind of cheese, please, for your own sake.

Lavender Truffle Honey, Chorizo Blanco, Mahon Riserva Cheese....OMG.

Happy (Chinese) New Year!

2010-02-23T19:36:00.000-05:00

A Saturday afternoon in Philadelphia's Chinatown with Angel, celebrating the Year of the Tiger (plus lunch at Penang, because.....yeah. Have you eaten at Penang? If not, get off the computer and go. NOW.)

Beautiful dragon costumes.

Long strings of fireworks, hung outside of businesses and homes to celebrate.

Exploding fireworks. Marginally dangerous.

Aftermath.

Contemplated stealing this mask from this little kid.
Also chased him down the street (rather unseemly of me, really) to get this photo.

Shelves full of bells at a store in Chinatown.

Loving the ceramic and paper cutouts...

Roti Kanai at Penang (crepe with curry) -
one of the times I'm not gonna pass up on a grain food. Haha.

Penang Kari Ayam - chicken with lemongrass and chili paste,
simmered in coconut curry. Enough said.

Jade and a coin to bring good luck in the year of the Tiger. I think it's already starting :)

Upcoming Posts: Crossfit Tribe Mad Love, Snowpocalypse Round 3 (maybe? we'll see), Raw Milk, Reading Terminal Market, and mooooore. Stay tuned.

Water, Water Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink

2010-02-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

The more I learn, the more suspicious of Big Government I get when it comes to food safety and most things health. I believe that at one point the government had our best interests at heart but these days there's so much bureaucracy and red tape that it's impossible to keep the food supply and health guidelines anywhere near well-regulated. Combine that with the fact that there are powerful lobbyists (Big Agriculture, Big Dairy, CAFO's, Pharma) etc that hold major sway over our politicians, and you have yourself a very scary world out there.

I don't want to come off as one of those "conspiracy theory" types but...I kind of am. Anything related to the Food Pyramid makes me VERY suspicious. Any government agency trying to prevent intelligent, mature adults from deciding to eat a food that has amazing potential health benefits (ahemRAWMILKcoughcough) make me furious. Farm subsidies that cause giant surpluses in inedible grain, phosphates from giant industrial farms and fecal runoff from CAFOs that cause dead zones in the Gulf of Mexico while politicians rant about using MORE corn for ethanol in our cars? A Federal School Lunch program that buys up meat that even Taco Bell and KFC won't touch and feed it to our kids?

Yes, a healthy level of awareness is crucial in these times. It's not that I'm suggesting being paralyzed by fear, refusing to leave your house. But when there are steps you can take to reduce the negative effects that our modern, industrialized environment can have on our mental and physical health, I'm all for it. Kristen at Food Renegade runs a wonderful site that has taught me a lot about what we're up against, foodwise, when it comes to conventional society. She has some great recipes and how to's for delicious food, and most importantly she's an excellent caller-outer of conventional BS. Stop over to her blog and take a look (today, she's giving away a water purifier to help protect against all the lovely stuff that comes out of the tap).

2010-02-18T21:38:00.000-05:00

Some things that sustain me:

Frozen blueberries (wild) from Trader Joe's, drizzled with coconut milk and a little plain Purely Decadent Coconut Ice Cream. Thanks, Erin! She introduced me to this last summer as blueberries+heavy cream and I haven't stopped loving it despite the cold. Now I sub coconut milk to keep the dairy out. YUM.

Check out Whole9Life's Dairy Manifesto to find out why I hold the dairy when I'm really focusing on clean eating (more on my clean eating later). I don't believe that the occasional really delicious cheese is a terrible thing, and I have a lot to say on the topic of Raw Milk and its potential benefits. But since dairy does affect me in a few ways (some of which I'm not even aware), I am currently cutting it out to see how I do without it in my system.

Applewood Farms nitrate free bacon, sauteed with an assload of spinach and 1/2 an apple. Sauteeing apples in the pan makes EVERYTHING better. Mushrooms, EGGS (omelettes with apples and good cheddar - see my thoughts above - are pretty much the best treats ever), plain slices with a little coconut oil and cinnamon, yum. Protein here is free range turkey loin sauteed with rosemary. Perfect for lunch, took me about 15 minutes to make.

Yummy salad, my new go-to from the place next door when I forget to pack/am too lazy to cook. Baby spinach, hardboiled egg, olive, cucumber, tomato, BACON, oil/vinegar on the side.
I know nothing is organic here AND I could do way better financially to just put this together myself but, again, sometimes I'm lazy. And this is a solid option amongst the cheesesteaks, pizza places, etc etc that are so prevalent in Center City.

Quickly trying to finish this before Cosi closes (yes, I am in the dark ages and don't have Internet at my apartment despite having lived there for months. Working on that). Today was "Tabata This" at Crossfit Center City. It was hard, no lie. But I also saw huge, huge improvements from when I did this back in May. Melissa "Melicious" Joulwan did an awesome post about why Tabata anything is a huge suckfest but basically amazing for you at the same time. I highly recommend it.

Goals for the weekend: Work on finances, fix my Ipod connection, and not die over at Crossfit Tribe on Saturday (ps I'm SO EFFING EXCITED to finally meet everyone there), get some amazing pictures at the Chinese New Year celebration on Sunday in Chinatown.

ARGHMSDFOISDFJLF#$(#$(

2010-02-18T16:44:00.000-05:00

I get Gwyneth Paltrow's email, GOOP, for a good laugh every other day or so. It's really not worth more than that, as evidence by the excerpt from the interview between Gwynnie and actress Kristin Davis (of Sex and the City) regarding their trainer, Tracy Anderson:

GOOP: How did you discover Tracy Anderson Method?

I had heard about Tracy and her method, and I was intrigued by how strong she looked without being bulky. I saw an interview with her where she said that women should never use weights heavier than 3 lbs. Since I had been arguing this point with trainers for 10 years I was thrilled to have a professional back up my suspicion. The most striking thing I noticed from that first workout was that my quads weren’t engaged at all and weren’t sore the next day. This was a first. There were small muscles all over my body that had never been sore before that were slightly sore the next day. But mostly, I felt energized and it was easier for me to stand up straight.

I don't think there's really much more I need to say about this except a lot of frustrated cursing. Although, as usual, I am doing the deep-breath-release-it thing, because I know that there are millions of people out there - MILLIONS - who feel this way, that women should not lift heavy because they may get bulky. So, yeah, I hope they read this blog a lot, because I'm eating tons of fat and pulling 90 pound cleans and 185 pound deadlifts ALL THE TIME and oh-em-gee, I dropped like 1.5 pants sizes already. And I'm leaning out like crazy. And I'm hardly muscle-y.

3 POUND DUMBBELLS? Good God, I hope Kristin Davis never has to lift a kid or a box of books or for heaven's sakes, a Thanksgiving turkey because howEVER will she manage?! Also, I love that she has had to ARGUE this point with her trainers. Her fitness professionals (for what it's worth, conventionally)! Even the traditional 10-15 pound dumbbell crowd apparently looked at this lady and said "WTF?! 3 POUND DUMBBELLS???" Sigh. Some girls just make me want to slap a bitch.

I've got pictures of what I've been cooking that I'll upload tonight (along with my loving ode to Tabata THIS) but until then I'll tell you what is JUST DOWN THE HALL FROM MY WORK, taunting me every day as I break my crack/sugar habit. Damn you, Naked Chocolate. Damn you. And no, nothing is gluten free/sugar free/dairy free either. So, yeah. I'll have to stick with hauling ass to Sweet Freedom for my fixes.

On Food and Knowledge.

2010-02-17T13:34:00.000-05:00

Excuse me while I get this out.

I'm sitting at my desk kind of pissed off at myself for a variety of reasons. I'm tired and sluggish today. I'm having a sugar craving (oh GOD the Naked Chocolate cupcakes are RIGHT DOWN THE HALL) strong enough to knock down a brick wall - I haven't been too on the ball with my food lately and I have to re-train myself to get on the happy insulin wagon. My lunch today was AMAZING - spinach salad, BACON, chopped hardboiled eggs, cucumbers, tomatos, black olives all drizzled with oil and vinegar, but my stomach is doing that whole "I'm still hungry, feed me toast" thing. I haven't been sleeping enough and it's been days since I've been to Crossfit. It's a vicious cycle that I'm all-too-aware of, now that I've absorbed all this amazing fitness and nutrition knowledge over the last year. I KNOW how important sleep is. I KNOW how important my supplements are. I KNOW that I should make an effort to get outside during the day and get sun despite the cold. I KNOW that I need to get my act together and start cooking again. And I double-triple know that I need to tape my alarm clock to my head tonight (Greg's suggestion, hah) and not sleep through it tomorrow and miss my beloved 6am Crossfit session.

Ignorance is bliss, ya know? In some respects, it was SO much easier just a year and a half ago (a year and half!) when I was coasting along, la-di-dah, climbing on that elliptical for 45 minutes and stopping at Whole Foods on the way home to eat tofu from the hot bar or noodles and Earth Balance butter (vegan!) or worse yet, years and YEARS ago, when I just didn't eat at all in the name of calorie restriction. It's sometimes easier NOT knowing the effect that every single thing has on your body. It's surely easier to just blindly follow what the government and what your doctor say to do to thrive. I suppose "easier" is the wrong word, really, because it implies that everyone who follows is just lazy. I don't think that's the case. I had no idea - NO IDEA that all of this was out there. I was blissfully ignorant.

So life is "difficult" now, if you gauge the reactions of people outside my close friends and family. I tell them that I did Filthy Fifties at 6am and they practically puke in front of me. I tell them that I did 140 thrusters in one workout and holycrapI'msoeffingsoretoday and they're like, "uhhh, WHY are you doing this?" or "WHY do you care so much?" I tell them that I eat coconut oil, bacon and real butter and, my god, they're holding out the defibrillator to revive me as they hork down breakfast cereal and low fat strawberry yogurt flavored with Splenda. And sometimes I fuck it all up. Sometimes I just want a beer. Or I go to Good Dog Cafe and nothing will give me what I need except their mac and cheese. Sometimes I'm too lazy to go grocery shopping and then, as I've learned, it ALL goes to hell. But you know what? I know exactly what happens when I let it slip. I know exactly what I have to do to get back on the wagon. And I know that as long as I stay on the wagon most of the time, a few slips (or cheats or moments of insanity or whatever you choose to call them) have to be okay.

You can cry, just don't be a baby.

My father was a big, wonderful, amazing man. He taught me how to enjoy the good things in life, for sure. A Corona on the beach in Hilton Head, flip flops, crab legs, eating Christmas cookie icing right out of the bowl, hanging out on the back patio on summer mornings reading the newspaper and watching hummingbirds, mad crazy drumming on the steering wheel to Steppenwolf and wa-waaing to Peter Frampton on long road trips, oh man he had it made. And he worked SO HARD - traveling for his job 3-4 days every week, sitting in the car for hours every day, eating on the go and in restaurants constantly, never able to really get a routine down. Constantly exhausted, I'm sure, constantly stressed. When he could get to the gym he did the elliptical/weight machine circuit thing. He had a chronically bad back. He liked the bread and the sugar and the like, low fat of course. Did the yo-yo diet thing most of his life.

Thinking about his death angers me. It angers me a lot, still. Not because he's gone, but because of the way he died. A freak thing, all the doctors said. An undiagnosed dissecting thoracic aneurysm that no one knew to test for, and by the time they figured it out it was too late. It's unfair to my dad and to everyone that is still grieving over him that he was told his entire life that eating a certain way would keep him healthy and happy. That it was dangerous to do more than leg extensions on a machine and the elliptical for 30 minutes a day. That as long as he kept his fat intake low, well, bring on the refined grains and sugar! No problem at all. Eat low calorie! If you're hungry all the time, well, you just need more self-discipline. The more I learn, the more I think and connect the dots and the angrier I get. I shouldn't, because getting angry doesn't change anything but it gives me an outlet and a direction for what I'm feeling.

By all rights, all of this should propel me headlong into perfection. Perfect eating, perfect 3 on 1 off Crossfit, 9 hours of sleep a night, the works. I research constantly, I read books like the Paleo Diet, Good Calories/Bad Calories, The Primal Blueprint, In Defense of Food until I feel like my head is going to explode. I want to yell to everyone around me, STOP BEING IGNORANT! STOP blindly obeying your doctor that probably got 15 minutes of nutrition instruction in med school. STOP letting them put you on statins and acid reflux meds when you're still eating grains and sugar. STOP listening to Oprah's trainer telling you that doing bicep curls with soup cans in the checkout line is a good way to sneak in a workout. STOP STOP STOP eating low fat chemically altered processed products in the name of good health. Please, THINK. Please, learn about your body and all its wonders. Learn that you really can feel amazing all the time, not just eh. Learn that, as a woman, you can deadlift 200 pounds and still fit into skinny jeans and look damn fabulous and not like a musclehead. Learn that wow, a bagel in the morning will really make you want to pass out by 11 am. Learn that sunlight does amazing things for your body and spirit. Learn what each and every food does for you (and against you) so you KNOW. So that the second something feels off in your body, you can figure out why. So you don't pass away at age 54 and miss your daughter's weddings and watching your grandchildren grow up. Ignorance is not bliss.

Despite all this, I beg you not to be afraid. I'm not perfect, and I don't always do it right, even though I know I should. If I could have my dad back for one day and all he wanted to do was eat raw cookie dough and watch tv, I would take it in a heartbeat. I will never give up cold Coronas on the beach even though they don't contribute to my optimal health. Sometimes, dammit, you need to go to Good Dog or Jose Pistola's with friends and do the margarita/mac and cheese/nachos thing. Enjoyment every once in awhile is NOT going to kill you, as long as you're aware of the effects it will have on your body. Maybe champagne gives you a headache the next day, maybe cheese makes you bloated but seriously, ENJOY it every once in awhile. Make it the best fucking cheese moment you've ever had and make sure that beer is Troeg's or Allagash, not Natty Light. Because not letting yourself enjoy anything at all in the name of following Conventional Wisdom just might kill you. And it's not worth it to anyone. Do not be afraid, but be aware. And don't take anything TOO too seriously :)

Sometimes you need a cape to carve a turkey.

Speaking of Impractical Footwear...

2010-02-16T16:46:00.000-05:00

Snow? What snow?

Tee hee.

(sorry for the crappy quality, this is off my cell phone).

Impractical Footwear

2010-02-15T13:05:00.000-05:00

I work in a print shop. Giant digital presses, scary cutters, folding machines everywhere, pretty much a blue collar, factory like environment. I got scolded by my boss awhile back from wearing "impractical footwear" even though I'm generally just as, if not MORE comfortable in heels than I am in flats. At the moment I'm daydreaming about these:

Photo of Gucci platform pumps courtesy of Elle Magazine's Shoe Diary (cute site where staffers blog their daily footwear).

A version I can actually afford - (Jessica Simpson's Parigi pumps).

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she? Vive la stiletto.

Antique-ing!

2010-02-14T22:23:00.000-05:00

I have a lot I need to do to get this blog up and running. Clever tagline, more design work on the header, getting connected with other people I like to read, but hell, if I wait for everything to be perfectly set up before posting I'll never get this thing going. So without further ado, here's how I spent my Valentine's weekend. Getting over a nasty stomach bug made me very hesitant to do anything Crossfit related so I took the opportunity to rest and recover from the craziness of the week. In 48 hours, I managed to squeeze in cooking spaghetti squash and sauce from scratch (recipe to be posted soon), major playtime with my nephew, enjoying OPEN space and beautiful untouched snow (welcome respite from the dirty city slush), and stopping by the antique barn/flea market and looking at beautiful things. Bought some great stuff too, which I'll post tomorrow. PS: Using a Nikon D-50 that used to be my Dad's (special for a lot of reasons). I really have no idea how to use this thing, so I'm kind of learning as I go, but I'm already kind of crushing on the photo quality.

Homemade spaghetti sauce in progress. Nom nom.

Final product.

Tyler liked it. I'm so head-over-heels for this kid.

Below: Random cool stuff at the flea market.

Crystal stemware