On Matrimony.

When did it all become Such. A. Big. Deal? 

When did it become about invitation lists, and letterpress vs. engraving, and the napkins matching the bridesmaids' sashes matching the centerpieces? When did it become thousands of dollars on food that would be eaten (GONE), flowers that would die (GONE) and dresses worn once and GONE? Deadlines and deposits and counts and assignments and RSVPs and GAH.

Not that there's anything wrong with any of this, if you're so inclined. There are a couple of weddings in the chute for me in the next couple of years (one of them being my own), and I love attending weddings. I love seeing how other people throw awesome parties and I love the creative way that they pull it off (especially my girlfriends, who are amazing at throwing parties). I have about twenty wedding style blogs on my Google reader right now and I check them every day. 

For a hot second, I thought that I could be all about it. But the more I thought and my head whirled, the more I realized that I was actually stressing and crying, yes crying, over a party. That's all it is, folks, a party, when all is said and done. And for me, it's not what's important. Everyone says that the wedding day is "MY DAY" and I get whatever I want. I guess this is license for some people to become a huge unreasonable bitch, but those of you who know me know that is so not my way. But, in the spirit of it being MY DAY, this is what I want. Consider it my Bridezilla list:

• I want to exchange vows in front of God and my family and promise that I will love my husband until Death do us part. I want what my parents had and still have, years and years of wonderful together, God willing.
• I want my ceremony to be very small and intimate. I want the love of our families to propel us forward into the next stage of our lives.
• I want to have this day be relaxing and calm in its sacredness. I don't want to deal with getting two hundred people from point A to point B, getting a million pictures taken, making sure the caterer and the flowers and the cake and the DJ are present and doing the right thing. Some people are experts at this. I am not and it would drive me bananas. 
• I really don't want to coordinate all of this in a crazy gown that is too tight to breathe and eat, haha.
• I want to have a fun summer that isn't taken up with appointments, fittings, meetings, everything. I want to go to the beach and the pool and Phillies games and hiking and Crossfit to my heart's content. 
• I want to begin our lives together in a solid state of marital, spiritual, and financial bliss. I don't, for one solitary second, want to look at anything having to do with my wedding and go "gulp, I hope we can afford this!"
• I want to celebrate my happiness with ALL of my friends, without coming up with an arbitrary cutoff point. I have a solid group of friends from college, some still sticking around from high school and childhood, and some that I've just met within the past couple of months that I couldn't imagine this day without. I want them all there. 
• I want to serve my own food. Bacon wrapped dates? Yes please. Empanadillas and maduros? Absolutely. I want to have that shit and EAT IT TOO. Cake? Maybe...definitely not a wedding cake though. 
• I want to dance and drink and party hard in celebration of my happiness. 
• I want the love of my family AND FRIENDS, old and new, to warm our new home and our holiday season.

Looking at this list, it seems like my "wants" are completely at odds. How can we pull this off? Stay tuned....until next time, I'm getting SO excited to marry you, Angel.